For the (comedy) gods so loved the world, they gave us ‘The Donald’

Donald_Trump_hairJon Stewart of The Daily Show said a couple of weeks ago that he will reconsider his retirement plans if “The Donald” actually runs for president. Jon Stewart reconsiders retirement: A nomination from “F*ckface von Clownstick” Donald Trump could be a gamechanger.

Neither Jon Stewart nor The Daily Show has posted a comment on Twitter this morning about this really HUGE news: “The Donald” is running for president, for reals this time! You definitely want to catch The Daily Show tonight.

As only the New York Post can report it, I will be the greatest jobs president that God has ever created’: Trump:

Donald Trump ended his years-long flirtation with the White House today, by announcing he was joining the crowded Republican field for president.

And the billionaire businessman vowed he won’t be an apprentice.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I am officially running for president of the United States. . . . I will be the greatest jobs president that God has ever created,” Trump said in a red-meat speech at Trump Tower.

“We are going to make this country great again.”

He quipped that he’s well qualified — he wrote “Trump: The Art of the Deal.” Trump said he’s worth $8 billion.

“I’m proud of my worth. I’ve done an amazing job,” Trump said with gusto.

“I’m really rich. I’m not saying that to brag.”

He took numerous potshots at Washington.

“Our enemies are getting stronger and we’re getting weaker,” he warned, and vowed to find his “General Patton” to defeat ISIS.

“Nobody, nobody will push us around,” he boasted.

Trump said he would improve just about every aspect of American life if elected president.

He said Medicare and Medicaid would continue without cuts because he would root out fraud to reduce costs.

He said the 5.8 percent unemployment rate is “full of nonsense” and claimed the real jobless rate is between 18 and 21 percent.

“China has our jobs. Mexico has our jobs,” he said.

He also said he would erect a wall on the Mexican border and force Mexico to pay for it.

He even mentioned the upstate New York prisoners’ escape to take a shot at Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton.

“Interestingly, it’s named Clinton,” he said of the prison.

Now that’s the kind of trolling we all know and have come to expect from “The Donald.” Here are a couple of more: Trump calls Romney a ‘choker,’ says Jeb is ‘total fool’; The Republican presidential candidates are a bunch of “clowns.” Trump rips GOP ‘clowns,’ threatens 2016 run.

The concern trolls at the reliably Republican Washington Post political gossip column “The Fix” were already clutching their pearls this morning. Donald Trump on a debate stage is Republicans’ worst nightmare.

Maybe so, but it will be comedy gold!

2 responses to “For the (comedy) gods so loved the world, they gave us ‘The Donald’

  1. I can’t wait for the first Republican debate, when Donald Trump tells Ted Cruz he can’t run for President because he was born in Canada.

  2. Kudos on the funniest title I have read on this bog!!