A Starr for Horne

by David Safier

It’s now official. Kenneth Starr will represent Arizona in front of the Supreme Court.

“Ken Starr, a key figure in the Clinton impeachment, will try to convince the U.S. Supreme Court that both a trial judge and the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals erred in finding provisions of a 2006 law designed to comply with federal education laws are illegal.”

I can see it now. Four Supreme Court Justices rise when Starr enters and give him a standing ovation. Justice Alito says, “We owe you one, Ken. What can we do for you?”

Starr’s standard fee is $910 an hour. I guess Horne thinks it’s worth ever penny if it stops Arizona from helping children who look different and from Horne and Starr — some of whom were brought across the border illegally by their parents — from learning English. And the base! Let’s not forget how well it plays with the base! Ken Starr. The name alone is worth thousands of votes.