Antenori gives new meaning to the term “nuclear option”

by David Safier

Antenori stands strong for the God-given right of Arizonans to use old style light bulbs. And build their own nuclear bombs.

See, there's this terrible federal bill that says by 2014, all light bulbs must meet efficiency standards higher than what you get from the old incandescent bulbs.

Damn Obama for signing what Antenori calls "a knee-jerk reaction" bill into law!

Wait, did I say Obama? My bad. It was Bush. But according to Antenori, it wasn't his fault.

Antenori said President George W. Bush, a Republican, signed the bill because he was “under a lot of other political pressures.”

But that's not Antenori's best line. Not by a long shot. Here's the biggie.

The bill, which has already passed the House, says Arizona can manufacture and use old fashioned bulbs, since they won't have to cross state lines, and therefore would avoid interstate commerce rules.

Antenori said, . . . those who crafted the U.S. Constitution were fine with states setting their own rules as long as they didn’t export products beyond their borders.

“Then we could build a nuclear bomb here?” [Ken] Cheuvront asked.

“As long as we kept it in Arizona and didn’t use it outside of the state,” Antenori responded. “One could make that argument, I guess.”

I can see it now. Antenori builds the bomb in his back yard using parts from Ace Hardware and uranium he digs up near the Grand Canyon. Melvin stores it in his underground fallout shelter. "The button" is in Gowan's living room, right next to the TV remote. ("Oops! I meant to turn on Glenn Beck! Sorry, Southern Arizona, really, it was an accident.")

What could go wrong?