by David Safier
Hey, Barack, I just gave more money to your campaign. I want you to know I'm not doing this for my health, or because I'm one of those bleeding heart liberals who wants to make the world a better place.
If you're President [Note: superstition won't allow me to use the word "when" for fear I'll jinx things], I'm putting you on my speed dial, and I expect you to pick up when I call. When I tell you I want a little sugar for a pet project of mine, I expect to see sweets showering down from the heavens.
That's what the big donors expect, right? So all us millions of little folks who fork over $25 here and $50 there, we should have a right to the same thing. That's how it goes when you're in Washington. You have to pay the piper. Or, in this case, the millions of pipers.
Oh, listen, just do your best for all us folks who believe in you, OK? I was just kidding about the speed dial thing.
Go Obama!
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