Bizarre story

PHOENIX, AZ — The 26-year-old President of the Maricopa County Community Colleges (MCCC) governing board and staunch Christian conservative activist, Colleen Clark (R), admitted this week that she was arrested for drunken driving in July. According to the police report, Clark was so inebriated that she was only able to recite the alphabet correctly from A to D and then finished her recitation with "L, U, G, A, K, Z, U, P, L, M, N, O, P."

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The police report details a bizarre incident that begins with Clark meandering in and out of traffic lanes at a very low rate of speed, nearly clipping a curb at one point. The arresting officer noted in the report that one of the first things he noticed after pulling over Clark was that her pants were "unzipped and open."

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In addition to being unable to recite the alphabet for the officers, Clark was also unable to pass the standard drunk driving tests administered by the officers. Instead, while trying to convince officers that she only had two glasses of wine, she staggered and nearly fell.

According to Clark's biography on the MCCC website, Clark currently serves as the Women's Ministry Coordinator of the East Valley Bible Church (the same church where Republican Governor Jan Brewer recently preached about the state budget) and previously served as the Director of Prevention for the Crisis Pregnancy Centers of Phoenix (a local anti-contraceptives/anti-abortion counseling center).

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Clark defended her decision to stay on the board, saying, "The punishment for this personal behavior will not have adverse effects on any of my professional commitments and certainly not any effect on my work with the community colleges."

According to the Phoenix New Times, Clark plans to fight the charges, and the trial date is set for September 1. Clark did not respond to our requests for a statement.