The latest Signal leak from the administration! Juan Ciscomani’s private Valentine to President Trump was accidentally also sent to Blog for Arizona. We now understand that Senators, Members of Congress and Cabinet Secretaries are all working furiously on Valentine’s greetings to one-up Juan. The President just warned via Truth Social that he wants not just poems, but gifts. Anyone who doesn’t submit impressive enough Valentines and gifts, he insisted, is either a Loser or a Hater (and might be deported).
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY MR. PRESIDENT
You’re the best POTUS ever, you’re everything I crave,
I’ll gladly be your servant and your most devoted slave.
I’ll take cheery photos with the people in my town,
Then vote the way you tell me to and let them slowly drown.
I’m a pious Christian when the cameras are in view,
But I’ll cut their healthcare quickly if it’s what you want to do.
My father was an illegal, yet I’ll fund the ICE for you,
And vote for cruel deportations in everything I do.
I love the way you treat the law like it’s a minor thing,
Oath of office? What a nuisance for a mob boss and a king!
You threaten every business and demand your golden loot,
And I’ll stay silent Juanito, your perfect recruit.
We’ll make it hard to vote so the people have no choice,
Together we will win by taking every voter’s voice.
You take your gifts from foreigners, millions here and there,
I’ll never say a word of it, I wouldn’t even dare.
I’ll vote to hide the secret files that make you look so bad,
To see the truth stay buried makes my loyal heart so glad.
There must be more buildings with your name in neon lights!
I’ll walk like a pilgrim to pay homage at these sites.
I’ll never hold a town hall; not interested in what they say,
I promise I am yours this and every Valentine’s Day.
When it’s time to vote, I’ll follow where you lead,
And sacrifice my people to satisfy your greed.
This has been another BfAZ AI-assisted project. The structure and wording of the poem were generated using AI prompts – I guess by Ciscomani’s staff, maybe… not really? Who knows? The story and the illustration are human made.- Ed. MDB
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