Dr. Word analyzes Norquist’s “drown government in a bathtub” metaphor

by David Safier

Dr. Word is not a doctor, though he plays one on BfA. Nonetheless, he has a Bachelor's Degree in English Literature, earned at the height of the "literary criticism" craze, so he is adept at word-by-word and image-by-image analysis of language.

Grover No-New-Taxes Norqist famously said, "I don't want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub." The primary meaning is clear. Norquist wants to shrink government to its smallest possible size. But what kind of man would use that specific image to describe his mission in life? Freud said, correctly, people reveal themselves by their language choices. Norquist reveals himself to be a nasty little boy who has a mixture of sadism and sociopathy in his psychological makeup.

Question: In real life, what small thing might someone drag into the bathroom and drown in the bathtub? The answer is, a newborn kitten, puppy or other small, helpless animal. A pet dog or cat has more babies than her owner can deal with? Drowning is one solution to the problem.

But in Norquist's view, the drowning is not some kind of grim necessity. It's something he wants to do. He longs for the day government is so small and helpless he can "drag" it into the bathroom and hold its head under water. He's that little kid who wants to feel bigger and more powerful by having something smaller than him at his mercy. "What should I do today, tear wings off flies, tie firecrackers to the dog's tail or drown a baby kitten inthe bathtub?" Kids will be kids. Sometimes they do those kinds of things and are ashamed later. But Norquist, arrested child-bully that he is, rubs his hands together at the prospect of doing as an adult what he did (or wished he had done) as a child.

To push this analysis a little farther, let me add that Norquist envisions drowning something that's not only helpless but lovable and valued — certainly by the animal's mother, possibly by other family members. And that's part of the fun for him, to say, "Aw, you didn't want that kitten killed? Gee, that's a shame." All those people who love what government does for them — people benefitting from Welfare, Unemployment Insurance, Social Security, Medicaid, Medicare and a huge variety of public services — are going to be devastated when they realize what Norquist has done, which makes Norquist enjoy the moment all that much more.

The frightening thing about this is how many grownup conservatives in positions of power have those same touches of juvenile sadism and sociopathy in their characters. Dick Cheney is an obvious example. Joe Arpaio works. Probably ex-Senator Russell Pearce does as well. I could go on, but why bother? If it makes sense to typify the left as "bleeding heart liberals," it's even more sensible to typify the right as "heartless conservatives."