Dr. Word tries to analyze Sarah’s syntax

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by David Safier

From the first time I heard Sarah Palin speak off script, I was perplexed by the strange way she mangled the language. It didn't sound like Bush-speak, or like any other public official I remembered.

A lot of Republican governors have really good ideas for our nation because we’re the ones there on the front lines being held accountable every single day in service to the people whom have hired us in our own states and the planks in our platform are strong and they are good for America. It’s all about free enterprise and respecting the …

It's a matter of throwing in unnecessary words, using words that are slightly out of kilter in the context she puts them, stringing together disparate thoughts with connectors, abandoning a thought in mid stream to pick up another.

It was a collaborative effort there in deciding how do we start bringing up some of the associations that perhaps would be impacting on an administration, on the future of America.

But why? I'm sure she can put together perfectly reasonable sentences when she's just talking with friends and family, and I'll bet she didn't sound like this when she was talking to the press as mayor or governor.

And then I remembered where I had heard this type of garbled, faux lofty speech. In my English classroom, during oral presentations in my non-college prep classes, when students were trying to "talk like an English teacher." They thought, "If I try to talk like the teacher, I'll sound more intelligent." I sat and listened, trying not to smirk.

This kind of thing happens in beauty pageants when contestants are asked questions on a political topic. It sometimes happens when reporters stick cameras in front of attendees at political rallies. They want to sound intelligent and important, so they try to elevate their speech, and the result is unconscious parody.

So far as I can tell, what comes out of Palin's mouth when she's off script is her attempt at Washington-speak. Throw in a few big words that almost fit. Make something sound important by adding an extra adjective and a verb or two. When you realize something you're saying is going nowhere, abandon it and go somewhere else.

Sitting here in these chairs that I’m going to be proposing but in working with these governors who again on the front lines are forced to and it’s our privileged obligation to find solutions to the challenges facing our own states every day being held accountable, not being just one of many just casting votes or voting present every once in a while, we don’t get away with that.

No wonder Tina Fey stuck to Palin's words so often on SNL. Why try to create parody when it's right there in front of you?

These are all actual Palin quotes from the last two days, by the way. I can't make this stuff up.

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