G.I. Guarantee Watch: Day 5

by David Safier

Day 5 of my G.I. Guarantee Watch has ended, but not without some progress, if you want to call it that.

I have been informed I am soon to receive an official letter from the Goldwater Institute containing the final word as to whether Matthew Ladner made an error by including school district employees like bus drivers, maintenance workers and food service workers into his definition of "bureaucrats."

Wanna bet what the decision will be? Hint: Ladner sounded very snarky/happy in the email he sent me saying a letter will soon be in the mail.

To justify including bus drivers, maintenance workers and food service workers, Ladner referred me to the following definitions of "bureaucrat":

1. an official of a bureaucracy.
2. an official who works by fixed routine without exercising intelligent judgment.

He says the term is "very broad indeed" if you look up the definition of "official":

1. a person appointed or elected to an office or charged with certain duties.

I guess all employees everywhere are officials, since they all have bosses who charge them with certain duties.

Wow. To repeat: Wow.

Two terms come to mind to describe Ladner's verbal sleight of hand: 1. Sophistry; 2. Self parody.

I thought about calling in Dr. Word to help me on this, but, brilliant as he is, he has a rather fragile psyche, and I fear this egregious display of linguistic misconduct would put him over the edge.