by David Safier
Most of you think of me, I imagine, as a tax-and-spend liberal Democrat. And that's how I think of myself as well, most of the time, anyway.
But sometimes, when I open the mail, I see myself as "one of a carefully selected group of Republican leaders nationwide." Because that's how John Boehner begins the letter that arrives at my home.
Sharron Angle hopes her letter is addressed to "the Republican I've been told you are."
John Cornyn extends an invitation to "serve as a member of the prestigious Republican Senatorial Inner Circle."
And David Vitter warns, "With a union partisan in the White House and big majorities in Congress, Big Labor is seizing every opportunity it can to ram through a radical forced unionism agenda."
Yesterday's mail brought an envelope with this in the top left corner.
My first thought, seeing the top two lines, "COUNTY OF PIMA AREA ASSESSMENT," then the bottom line, "DO NOT TAMPER OR DESTROY" was, it must be something about my property taxes from the County Assessor; I better open this, and fast! It took a little while longer to realize it was from the NRSC.
A little deceptive maybe? You think?
The letter began:
Dear Fellow Republican,
You are among a handful of Republican voters in your County selected to participate in an official REPUBLICAN PARTY AREA ASSESSMENT.
(I think I just figured out why right wing crazies write comments filled with CAPITALIZED PHRASES! Because that's the way the OFFICIAL REPUBLICAN LETTERS ARE WRITTEN TOO!)
The assessment consists of 33 questions. And it's clear from the way the questions are worded, they don't want to bias the responses, since the questions aren't slanted at all. Not at all.
There are questions like:
Do you disapprove of the "stimulus" bill passed last year?
Would it be a bad idea for the Democrats to shove another stimulus spending bill through?
Do you believe an additional tax increase will hurt job growth overall?
Generally, is there too much government involvement in our free enterprise system?
Are you against the government health care takeover shoved into law by President Obama, Senate Leader Reid and Speaker Pelosi with zero Republican votes?
Like I said, it's an unbiased assessment which doesn't in any way push the answers down the respondent's throat.
The last question on the assessment asks, "Will you help the NRSC achieve this goal . . . by making a special financial gift?"
Of course, they understand the reader may not want to give a gift, so you can check Yes or No. They tell you what each answer means.
Yes, I support the NRSC's mission . . . and I am enclosing my most generous contribution of . . .
No, I hope Democrats expand control of the U.S. Senate and continue passing their liberal agenda.
How nice of them to give tax-and-spend liberals like me the option of telling them "No, you can go to hell, you're not getting a cent from me. Let's hope that liberal agenda just keeps chugging along."
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Love the comments, folks. I’m happy to hear I’m not alone in being in “a carefully selected group of Republican leaders nationwide.” And maybe I’ll start returning those things.
But the most important of the post to me is the headline, “I Lead Two Lives.” Get the pop reference anybody? Or isn’t anyone out there as old as I am?
Or maybe note that you are enclosing $1000 cash. Perhaps that would be even more vexing.
I’ll definitely start doing the $1000 check bit, too. Great idea!
I’m not incorrectly on them. I choose to cost them money to send their propaganda to me. Every little bit helps.
What a relief! I was beginning to think I was the only one incorrectly on the Repub mailing list. My wife gets a duplicate of what I get.
Like many others I always stuff the material in the postage paid return envelope and send it back on their dime (dime?), but I go a step further. I always mark that I have enclosed a $1,000 check. That of course is not true but I keep thinking some day I’ll get a call inquiring about the missing check. The call hasn’t materialized but I do seem to stay on their list.
When I lived in Arizona, I used to correct the factual inaccuracies in those mailings, then send them back in the provided envelopes. They beg you to put on your own stamp to save their money, but it’s a postage-paid envelope, so I’d usually write a message to the effect of “thanks for the free mailing and for wasting money on me.” I don’t know if any staffer actually opens and reads those, but of the three or four that I’d get a year, it seemed that my informative notes never got through to the people writing the “surveys.”
Congress recently enacted a law to prohibit deceptive mailings like the NRC’s mailer designed to look like a federal census document. This may violate the spirit, if not the letter of the law. The NRC continued sending its misleading census mailer by adding a plastic window to the envelope and arguing that there was a loophole in the law.