Let McCain’s (False) Apologies Begin!

by David Safier

Blog for Arizona, Where You Get the News Before It Happens It’s News.

If you’ve been following my serialized, semi-graphic comic panels showing McCain at his Ranch, you’ll remember this one from a few days ago. McCain sees a vision of Jesus and promises to repent for his dishonorable campaigning — but only when the campaign is over. Gradually, he talks himself into the idea of apologizing during the campaign — but only after he’s inflicted sufficient damage on Obama — figuring he can win repentance points with the voters.

My attempts at satire may prove to be prescient. Check out this clip from one of today’s appearances. The line to listen for: “I regret, and sometimes I’m offended,by some of the negative aspects of this campaign.”

It’s a far cry from saying, “I’ve lied through my teeth about Obama, and when I’m not actually lying, I’m shamelessly distorting his record.” But it’s a baby step, a nod to the idea that, yeah, maybe both of us have stepped over the line a bit.”

Will McCain go further? If he does, I expect to hear something like this: “My friends, there have been some negative things said by both of our campaigns that, well, that both of us might wish we hadn’t said. Let’s be honest, friends, the tone of this campaign has not been what we should hear from two good people vying for the office of the President, and for my part, I regret it. So I say to Senator Obama, let us both call a halt to the negative campaigning. Let’s run campaigns that build ourselves up, not tear our opponent down. If Obama will agree, I promise to . . .”

No admissions. No retracting the statements he made after each new ad that,no, he wasn’t going negative and,yes, his ads were telling the truth. Just a general sense that we’ve both been a little naughty and we should behave ourselves from now on.

I just heard McCain go after Obama with more half truth and innuendo in a speech on CNN, so I’m sure we won’t see anything like a call for a truce right away. McCain knows the economic collapse we’ve seen unfolding this past week has cost him, and his numbers could continue to slide, so he’ll keep slashing away at Obama without worrying too much about what’s true and what he’s making up. But if things ever look like they’re evening out again or he pulls a little ahead, that might be the time we’ll see his “Moment of Truce.”

And if that moment ever comes, the Obama campaign has only one response, in my view. Make a long list of all McCain’s negative and false advertising, from the “Obama the Celebrity” series to the ad that makes an Illinois law to have age appropriate sex education in schools (like warning kindergarteners about predators) sound like its purpose is to institute graphic sex education for young children. Then make another list of all the false things he’s said in speeches. Tell McCain, “We need to know how you define negative campaigning, so before we begin to talk, let us know if you consider each of these an instance of negative campaigning. And oh, by the way, what about all the 527s that are cooking up Swiftboat-style ads as we speak? Will you tell your supporters to cease and desist, and if they put out the ads, will you condemn them for the trash they are?”

Of course, McCain’s camp won’t do anything of the sort. Their bluff will be called.

I’m just talking, of course. I can’t predict what’s going to happen next. But if it unfolds anything like this, remember, you read it here first.