Meet The D.I.C.K.S

by David Safier

A group of us were talking politics the other day when someone said, “You know, if you look at the problems in Clinton’s campaign, it was the men who screwed up every time.”

That got me thinking. Clinton was the first woman in history who had a chance to win her party’s presidential nomination. In fact, she was the odds on favorite until Obama took the Iowa caucuses. After that, her campaign never regained its footing, thanks in large part to her old guard, good-ol’-boy campaign crew, whose strategy changed from day to day while they fought in public like kids playing King of the Mountain.

The campaign’s problems always seemed to trace back to the testosterone-laden cadre of bad-advice-ers, glad-handers and sycophants. Each false start and garbled message from the Traveling Dingleberries was another arrow shot into the heart of the campaign.

There was Mark Penn, a man of gargantuan ego and epic policy blunders; Howard Wolfson, who believed constant spin would make up for his nonexistent management skills; Terry McAuliffe, who went on TV sounding like a “Hey, ain’t this 1998 Lincoln a beaut?” used car salesman; and Lanny Davis, whose smarmy, unctuous pronouncements were physically painful to hear.

Without a doubt, the Dumbasses In Clinton’s Kamp Screwed-her.