Melvin on the sales tax hike: Blame the voter

by David Safier

Earlier today, I posted about Melvin reaffirming his convict-ion that convicts-in-the-schools is a good idea. Saves the state money. Keeps 'em out of trouble, I guess. The children? What the hell, we cut funding to their schools and killed KidsCare. What's a few convicts thrown in the mix?

But what about his convictions on the one cent sales tax hike that will be on the ballot? Will he vote for it or against it? Cap'n Al won't say, though he says he's leaning against it.

We went from "No New Taxes" Al in his first senate race to "Taxes are OK for local roads because all those potholes hurt my tush" Al in his second race to "I don't know if I'm for or against a sales tax hike" Al in the run-up to his third race.

Today, he wrote one of his kind of cuddly op eds in The Explorer. But for Melvin, kind of cuddly means sounding like a teddy bear version of Chucky from the horror film, Child's Play. You know, blood splattered, knife in hand. The guy can be scary when he's being kind of nice and kind of partisan.

Shorter Cap'n Al (so you don't have to read it):

Napolitano created the budget crisis. The "hard-left shift in Washington, D.C." made it worse. We Republicans had to balance the budget all by ourselves. We invited the Dems to come up with a plan, and they refused.

However, "I do not mention this to make an ad hominem attack." (I'm not kidding. That's an actual quote.)

Now here's the deal (cue Tony Soprano): However you vote on the sales tax hike measure, let it be on your head. If you vote for it, you're a tax lover, but you'll help us pull ourselves a little ways out of our budget hole. If you think you're overtaxed and vote against it, we'll make things even worse with more cuts.

Hey, I'm a freshman legislator. None of this is my fault. But when you vote, it'll be your fault.

"Please… Vote… Let your voices be heard, and rest assured that we will follow your mandate and budget accordingly." (actual last lines of the op ed)

No one could make this guy up. To paraphrase Al:

Please… Vote in November… Let your voices be heard, and throw the Cap'n and his kind out of the legislature.