Obama lowers crime rate

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by David Safier
What the hell. Why not give Obama credit for the lowered crime rate? No one has a better reason.

Violent crime has plummeted in the Washington area and in major cities across the country, a trend criminologists describe as baffling and unexpected.

The article doesn't give Obama credit, and no sensible social scientist would either. But by the authority vested in me by the Head Bloviator of the Blogosphere (I'm forbidden from revealing who that is), I hereby declare, Obama did it.

See, when he was elected, maybe erstwhile criminals said, "Obama's a good guy. Let's hang back awhile and give him a little breathing room." Or they said, "Maybe crime isn't the only way to succeed in the US of A. Anyone can be President, and meanwhile, there's always real estate and Wall Street."

My proof is more solid than what Creationists rely on. Global warming deniers are on shakier ground than I am. So I'm putting it out there.

Obama laid his hands on the country and crime went down.

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