Rich Crandall, child nutrition consultant, objects to improved child nutrition

by David Safier

The evil scheme is out, everywhere. The feds want to make school meals better for students. Fewer calories. More fruits and vegetables. More whole grains. Less salt. No trans fat. The horror!

Rich Crandall, who runs a child nutrition consulting business that makes money by advising schools and other agencies on nutrition and menus — though not in Arizona (currently, anyway) — thinks all this is terrible. So he's got a bill to stop the evil feds, making participation in the free/reduced meals program optional. And even more important, he has to stop Michelle Obama, who has made nutrition her signature issue, from bossing our kids around. "You're not the boss of me, Bad Obama Woman!"

Let 'em overeat whatever the hell they want in school! School has no place educating kids in proper nutrition or looking out for their general health and well-being! Oops. Um, maybe they do. Forget I just said that.

If schools take federal money, they have to follow the fed's nutrition guidelines. If they don't take the money, they can ignore the guidelines. Free/reduced lunch programs have federal grants attached. Get rid of those, and you cut the connection. That's why Crandall is going after the free/reduced lunch program.

Speculation time: If the feds set the nutrition guidelines and basic menus, schools don't need outside nutrition consultants to help them. But if schools go conservative rogue and break free of federal interference, they are more likely to need nutrition and menu consulting from a company like, say, CN Resource, run by Rich Crandall. The "CN" stands for "Child Nutrition," and the company's mission, according to its website, is "to help organizations around the country feed children – whether at home, in day care, at school or after school." Why would they need help if the feds are already giving them all the guidelines they need?

Crandall is doing all this for the sake of the children, the schools and the state, he says. If he makes a little green off of putting fewer green vegetables and fruit on children's plates, what's the harm in that?