Texting while driving? Who cares. Slowpokes in the left lane? Pass a law!

by David Safier

This would be funny if we weren't in Arizona, circa 2011. Frank Antenori has sponsored a bill, SB1369, that says anyone driving in the left lane on a road with a 55mph speed limit or more has to pull over to the right lane if someone behind them flashes their headlights.

The only part of this law that isn't a repetition of State statute 28-721 is the part about someone flashing their headlights at you.

For some reason, this law doesn't violate the conservative belief in limited government, but a law forbidding texting while driving or sticking young kids in the back of pickup trucks is overly intrusive. The difference being, I guess, texting while driving or kids in the backs of pickups only endangers lives, while slow drivers in the left lane REALLY PISS ME OFF!

I'm in pure Speculation Land here, but how hard is it to imagine Furious Frank Antenori speeding along in the left lane, tailgating a slow driver, flashing his lights madly and screaming, "Get in the right lane, you son of a bitch! There oughta be a law, goddammit. . . . Oh yeah, you son of a bitch, there's gonna be a law, and I'm naming it after you! Now get out of my goddam way or I'll . . ."