UPDATE 4/1/23:

So our blog jester came through with a comment meant to harpoon our criticism:

“Wow!! Had Clyde researched the bill properly, he would have seen that MY floor amendment gave voters the option of dropping off their mail ballot at the polls or voting it there. Looks like Clyde and this post’s commentators have to eat crow. I accept the apologies that none of you will probably offer.” – Sen. Kavanagh

Boy, that’s some tasty crow, Johnny! Here are some of our responses:

“Reading isn’t John Government Checks Kavanagh’s Strong suit. We mocked you because you think HVAC techs are stealing elections, and because you’re an idiot. So take that dish of crow and shove it up your pasty wrinkled ass. Gawddammittttttt, I swear he’s getting dumber.” -Sharpie

and my own:

“Yeah… You seem to be missing the point of the criticism here, Johnny. If we got a fact wrong about a floor amendment, then great, you are totally correct that there was an amendment – I assume you are referring to this one: https://apps.azleg.gov/BillStatus/GetCalendarBillAmendmentPdf/?calendarBillId=747423&itemId=1 – but that doesn’t change our criticism that you, in seeking to justify the bill, could only come up with a scenario in which a guy or gal with a blue-collar job gets access to your house and tries to do voter fraud. It’s absurd. And you are absurd for positing such a dumb scenario to justify a change to our voting laws that would inconvenience and disenfranchise thousands of legitimate Arizona voters.” -Michael Bryan

Sharpie then followed up with this zinger:

“Hang on, Liza, John Who Lives Off the Taxpayer Dime Kavanagh is on to something here.

We know the Chinese have all of our personal data after Joe Arpaio failed to vet Chinese spy Lizhong Fan working at Arizona’s Counterterrorism Information Center in 2007 and he stole the entire database, then left the country.

Google it. That actually happened. OMG.

Using Soros-controlled space lasers, targeting Republican voters’ AC units using the now Chinese database to locate them, we can disable their AC units under cover of night without any witnesses.

From space.

Not so much as a fingerprint or barking dog to show we were there.

We know that most people leave their ballots on the outside of the house, next to the AC unit in the side yard, where a few hundred Soros-funded HVAC techs could easily pocket them by the thousands.

Easy-peasy, there goes your country!

Everyone thinks John Government Checks Kavanagh is too stupid, based on things he says and does, but in this case, I think he’s probably huffing paint.

He can’t be that stupid.”

Oh, I assure you, Sharpie, he can. Hey, Johnny, I think ol’ Sharpie is on to something here. Maybe Rogers should call him as a witness for her committee of conspiracy tales and lies?


Sen. Kavanagh sponsored SB 1135 which would strip people who get early ballots in the mail of the option to hang on to them until the last minute and then simply drop them off at a polling place on Election Day. What it would do is require them to stand in line, surrender the early ballot, produce identification, and then wait their turn to fill in the ballot again. No ID? No problem go home and get it if you want that new ballot to be counted.

This bill is just another attempt by the Republican Legislature of Arizona to try and discourage early voting for nearly 90% of Arizona voters. I wonder if Johnny can give me any reason why we can electronically file both our Federal and Arizona Income Taxes without showing proof of identification?

The article by Capitol Media Services (paywalled0 went on to point out that some of the delays in counting some of the ballots were due to exhortations by Kelli Ward, then the chair of the Arizona Republican Party, that people should “wait in line and vote in person.” That plugged into claims by Donald Trump and others that early voting was inherently insecure and subject to fraud. 

Kavanaugh made clear “that the purpose of the early ballot is to give people the convenience of not having to go into a polling place.” “When you take the early ballot option and instead show up on Election Day, you’re simply slowing down the election and causing more work at the polling place, which further slows down the actions of other people who are there.” 

Sen.  Priya Sundareshan, (D) Tucson said “You walk in with that early ballot in the envelope as signed and you simply drop it off.” she said. “There is no standing in line as would now need to occur” under Kavanagh’s plan “you would have to spoil it, have to provide ID, have to then vote a standard ballot.”

Not being satisfied, Kavanagh made it clear that issues of delayed election results aside, he doesn’t like those voters who can do that. Kavanaugh also pointed out “if you don’t have ID, we don’t even know if that’s your early ballot how do I know you didn’t find that early ballot on the street or you stole it from a friend’s house?”

In response to Kavanaugh’s absurd speculation, Sen. Juan Mendez, (D) Tempe asked “why would I have your ballot?” Kavanaugh said, “because you stole it from my house when you were repairing my air conditioner.” But Kavanaugh wasn’t done yet slurring working people as fundamentally dishonest, saying “I can go on the county recorder’s site and pull up documents that you’ve signed, related to all sort of things, often real estate, with your signature all over the place, and I can easily copy your signature if I want to.”

I wonder why Kavanaugh chose air conditioning repairmen? Why not other hard-working folks: his landscaper, his maid service, or perhaps a working girl visitor while his wife is out of town? I think in retrospect Kavanaugh should apologize to all the working-class folks up in the Phoenix area, or he better hope that none of them read the Capitol Times, or visit his home – which is probably true.