Celebrate Christmas by Getting Vaccinated

Jesus would have gotten vaccinated, and so should you.

Allow me to explain my theological point and my reasons for coming to that conclusion.

But first, let’s get some unpleasantness out of the way: from a self-interested and political standpoint, I frankly feel that if you die of COVID as a result of your own stupidity, close-mindedness, and reckless/selfish behavior because you failed to take advantage of 19th-century medicine (let alone that of the 21st century…), then you get what you deserve. Statistically, you are likely not to be someone I know or care about, and you are likely to vote to take this country down the nightmare path of fascism; so, fuck you. Fuck off and die if you want to. I hope you enjoy your posthumous Darwin Award, moron.

But that view – while emotionally satisfying in some ways and secretly widely shared among many liberals – is, of course, shortsighted, uncharitable, unethical, and scientifically inaccurate. It’s not just about the person who refuses to get vaccinated, of course, it’s about all of us.

Let’s talk about why that is. Before we get to #WWJD, let’s do a little thought experiment.

Walking in the countryside, you come across a man holding a gun to his own head. You ask what he’s doing, and he says, “I’m playing Russian roulette (RR), of course. What business it is of yours?” Should you stop him? Should you try to talk him out of pulling the trigger? Should you knock him out to prevent him from pulling the trigger, in the hope that he’ll be thinking straight again when he comes to? My answer is a bit more libertarian than some: none of your business. He’s free to kill himself however he wishes. You walk on shaking your head and wondering how that stranger’s life went so wrong that he ended up wanting to run such stupid risks with his life.

While the parallels between playing RR and COVID vaccination are, I think, pretty obvious, there are some serious deficiencies to the analogy. First, the COVIDiot is not standing in the countryside, but in a crowded public venue. The likelihood of the bullet striking others after passing through the moron’s skull is non-trivial. Second, whereas the RR player will probably die, possibly killing others at the same time, the certainty of death by COVID is actually on the order of 2%, rather than 1/6 or 1/5 as with a revolver. So the “revolver” in the COVID analogy must have 50 chambers rather than 5 or 6. Third, regardless of the actual level of risk to the COVID RR player, the relative risk of death to the bystanders compared to his own risk of death may actually be higher than in the 50-chambered gun analogy. Those bystanders could be in a higher risk demographic than the COVIDiot. In effect, the RR player is standing in a crowd, brandishing his 50-chambered gun and threatening to shoot straight up into the air (assume a bullet fired straight up WILL hit someone) or directly at someone, posing a small but certainly not insignificant risk of death to both himself and to innocent bystanders.

Now we can clearly see that our COVIDiot is NOT really playing RR in the remote countryside at all, realistically threatening only his own life and health, but is playing a reckless, criminal game of brandishing a partially-loaded gun at those around him. I think most Americans would agree that it is not acceptable to point a loaded gun at a crowd, even if 49 of the 50 chambers are empty. This game, which I’ll call the Putin Variant (PV), no longer strikes me as “none of your business.”

Now, if you are vaccinated, you might be one of the bystanders wearing a bulletproof vest: you are MUCH less likely to die in the unlikely event that the gun goes off. The COVIDiot still says, “Why do you care that I’m playing PV?  It doesn’t affect you, since you are wearing your bulletproof vest.” Well, of course, I could still be injured and even die if a bullet struck me – the vest only greatly decreases the odds of getting seriously injured or dying; it doesn’t eliminate all risk. But this excuse for playing PV ignores the fact that many others in the room CAN’T wear a bullet-proof vest, either because of the cost, or vests aren’t available in their size, or for some other reason. For about 3% of our population, the COVID vaccine is not a viable option, either because they are at a particularly high risk of adverse side effects, or because their immune systems won’t respond adequately.

Let’s further assume for the sake of verisimilitude that the local hospital only has a very limited capacity to care for trauma victims. Now we can see that the COVIDiot is also threatening the well-being and lives of people not even present, as there may not be the institutional capacity to care for them if they get in a car accident, or have a heart attack, or get sick from something else, because it has been eaten up by idiots playing PV.

So now we have our COVIDiot, brandishing his weapon, playing PV in a crowded room, including little kids and sick or elderly people, and insisting he’s doing nothing wrong because bulletproof vests are available to some, or in the most delusional cases, because bullets don’t really exist, being a hoax perpetrated by the “global elite.” Is this really still none of our business, or is this COVIDiot now such a public safety threat that we are obliged to do something about it? Our COVIDiots are an active and intentional menace to public health and safety and must be stopped by us all through collective state action: vaccine mandates.

If this analogy alone is not enough to convince you that any rational person would have a problem with the COVIDiots’ behavior, let’s examine what the Bible has to say on this topic of protecting others from harm:

In Philippians, the apostle Paul preaches that true joy comes only through humble faith in Jesus Christ, joining ourselves in harmony with His followers, and serving others in the name of Christ. In Philippians 2: 4, he says, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others.”  It seems that getting vaccinated to protect others and not act like an active, PV-playing menace would be the very least one could do to abide by the teachings of the Apostles.

The consensus of mainstream Christian leaders from Pope Francis to evangelist Franklin Graham is that vaccination is consistent with Biblical Christian faith. There is no Biblical basis on which to reject vaccines, and as my analogy makes clear, any true Christian would seek to protect the vulnerable, not actively menace them with disability, disease, and death by playing PV.

Still in doubt? Let’s look to one of the central tenets of the teachings of Jesus himself: “love your neighbor as you love yourself.” This notion is in both Mark (Mark 12:31) and Matthew (Mt. 22:39), and is implied or assumed by much of Christian thought. Most Christians believe that if the teachings of Jesus had to be reduced to one simple statement, this would be it.

Are you expressing love for your neighbor by being reckless and menacing (read: unvaccinated)? I think not. You are not even expressing love for yourself when you refuse modern vaccinations, which have proven safe and effective across billions of doses.

So as we contemplate the birth and mission of Jesus Christ this Christmas season, love yourself and your neighbors as He commanded, and make an appointment to get vaccinated. Give yourself and your community a truly meaningful gift. Make the world a better, safer, and healthier place: it’s what Jesus would do!