Chase Bank Sucks

My open letter to Jamie Dimon, CEO of JP Morgan Chase:

Dear Jamie Dimon,

Your bank totally sucks. My son was out-of-town and needed money on his debit card. When I attempted to deposit $100 CASH in his account at a local Chase branch. The teller refused. Apparently, the geniuses at your bank decided that I might be a money launderer. Really? Really?

How do you live with yourselves?

Ultimately, I was able to verify that your ill-conceived policy is not mandated by law. And, obviously, you could have carved out an exception that would allow a parent to deposit five 20’s in his kids account.

Of course, we all know that if you could profit from assisting real criminals in money laundering and get away with it, you’d do it in a heartbeat. Indeed, the policy wouldn’t apply if I were depositing cash into a corporate account.

But I guess there’s little profit to be made in allowing a dad to help his kid out, so you decided on policies that would address the one in a quadrillion chance I was laundering $100 in 20’s through my college kid’s account.

I know it’s hard for a guy worth half a billion to relate to this sort of everyday situation for parents everywhere, much less care, but thought I’d let you know anyhow.

Yes, I’ll never be anywhere near as wealthy as you. But here’s the thing: You can be really, really rich, yet still be a total piece of shit.