Fitz on the School Voucher (Vulture) Plan

by David Safier

Fitz regularly awes me with the quality of his satire and just-for-the-hell-of-it wit, but when he can write about the area I know best, education, and nail it — my hat's off to you, sir.

Today's Fitz Blog entry, in its entirety:

Fitz Blog: Arizona moves ahead with plan to destroy public education

State Superintendent Huppenthal today said he was pleased the State is moving ahead on schedule with its plan to destroy public education with a school voucher plan known affectionately as the "School Vulture Plan" .

"Anything that takes hundreds of millions of dollars a year out of the public school system is great with me," said Huppenthal."Half of the politicians up here up to their necks in private school donors and investments and lobbyists–just like private prisons. This is going to be fun. Why? Because we hate unions and public school teachers.Do any of us look like we've cracked open a book since freshmen English class in '62?"

State education officials are taking applications through Wednesday for the newly expanded "destroy public education scholarship accounts," which provide parents with a $3, 500 bank card and a compass.

“You can use taxpayer’s money to ship your twit to any one of our fine unregulated Elite Academies for Precious Darlings, or maybe the Holy Hell Fundamentalist Traditional Compound is more to your liking! Or even better —home-school your nose picker in your own bomb shelter completely off the grid–Anything! Do whatever you want just as long as your youngster is not enrolled in a public school. Anything put public school! I've been there. There's nothing there but sad looking disabled kids, foreigners, the spawn of welfare queens, gang bangers and mexican-american racists. This is the American dream. Death to public education!  I hated public school. All I got was D’s!”

The one thing I left out is the picture of Hupp and the caption. Check it out. It's great.

A SLIGHT CORRECTION: Fitz has Hupp going to public school. I can't find information on Hupp's K-8 education, but he graduated from Tucson's Salpoint Catholic High, definitely not a public school. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but our Superintendent of Public Instruction apparently doesn't want to talk much his private high school education. In his official Ed Supe biography, Hupp plays his K-12 education pretty close to the vest.

Superintendent of Public Instruction John Huppenthal, an Arizona resident for over 55 years, was educated in elementary and secondary schools in Tucson; earned an engineering degree from Northern Arizona University; and earned an MBA from Arizona State University.

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