BREAKING: Congress passes sweeping reform bill requiring:
- Lawmakers must read bills before voting
- Questions must be answered directly
- “The American people deserve…” must be followed by an actual plan
- Hearings must include at least one expert who has read more than a headline
- “I yield back” can’t be used to dodge the question
The bill passed unanimously.
No one is entirely sure what’s in it, but early reactions are “very positive.”
Implementation has been delayed pending someone taking a look.
April Fools.
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Other things that could have been in the bill (also in the April Fools vein):
Members are required to grow a spine.
They put some teeth into their anti corruption rules.
Insider trading would be treated as corruption, instead of being treated with a wink and a nod.