Kyrsten, I Hardly Knew Ya: The Tale Of The Terrible Boss

A “crusade” of activist groups — yes, I did coin a new term, I think — have had quite enough of Sen. Kyrsten Sinema’s (I-AZ) poor choices and filed a complaint against her for violations of Senate Ethics Committee guidelines. And we all thought she was only jerking around Arizona voters and her @SenateDems colleagues. If you didn’t catch wind of Sinema’s staffer scenario on The Daily Beast back in late December, grab some popcorn and pull up a chair, ‘cause the sh*t just hit the fan.

In essence, the activists want a formal investigation into reports that Sinema requires her taxpayer-funded Senate staff to handle her personal stuff like shopping for groceries and arranging for Internet tech support. (yawns) It just doesn’t shock me as much as it should. I’m sadly accustomed to ethically-challenged elected officials, their entitled worldviews, their out-of-touch groupthink, and their total lack of the boundaries expected of us ordinary folk. As someone who wishes upon a star every so often, I can only dream of having a staff of servants to fulfill my personal TaskRabbit to-do’s at zero cost to me.

What’s the big deal?

To jog your memory, there’s this 37-page guide where Sinema’s duties for her servants…er…aides are laid out like a rock star’s concert tour rider of backstage amenities. To be fair, her diva demands are hardly as bad as insisting on the presence of belly dancers, a personal chef of vegan foods, or 15-foot boa constrictors, mind you. And yet, from a staffer’s viewpoint, when you decide to work for an elected official, you’re usually interested in getting hands-on experience in the political arena, not in frequently booking someone’s weekly hour-long massage.

This is nothing short of demoralizing, and unethical – the reason for the complaint. Similar reports in the corporate world cite negative workplace outcomes like employee burnout and anti-work trends like “quiet quitting.” Yes, you would be correct in thinking it’s different in Congress but the tide is turning. There’s a whole Congressional Workers Union wave happening now.

Call me the Devil’s Advocate, but it’s not like Sinema forced anyone on her staff to do anything disgusting, that we know of, like personally (shudders) cleaning out her ear wax. And since she doesn’t listen very well, that would be a monumental undertaking. But, what really surprises me is this: why the heck didn’t she order her groceries in an app? Come on. It’s 2023, for crying out loud! Wouldn’t you agree that an Instacart order would’ve been more efficient, faster, and much smarter? Oh, wait. Smarter? Heh. Never mind.

Anything goes

The ethics complaint against Sinema shows once again she doesn’t give a hoot about how her actions affect others. Amazing how practically anyone can pick up oodles of nifty pointers from GOP and Wall Street BFFs on how to create a toxic workplace.

Sinema has bragged “I just don’t fit well” in any political party. Now here we are, reading how she allegedly bends the rules in assigning tasks to her staffers. She’s like a secret cast member of Whose Line is it Anyway, where “everything’s made up and the points don’t matter.”

Campaigns and consequences

Hey, in case you’re wondering: the consequences for Sinema’s staff management mess — should the odds not be in her favor — would probably be as impactful as a slap on the wrist with a dandelion puffball. So if you’re into betting, put your money on any other solution to the Sinema Senate Saga.

Last but not least, Sinema’s PR flack predictably insists the accusations are false. Okay, sure, I get it. Nothing is proven…yet. I mean, there are multiple accounts of this in writing and interviews with former staffers, but whatever. So, dear thoughtful reader, do with this information what you will.

The good news is, even a rumor can create a bumpy road for a re-election campaign, should there be one. There’s also an Arizona Democratic Party challenger to the throne by the name of Rep. Ruben Gallego (D-AZ), so cross your fingers we’ll be rid of Sinema in 2024.