Poorly Kept Secrets: Document Debacles & Classification Conundrums

Trump. Biden. Pence. Are special markings like CONFIDENTIAL, SECRET, and TOP SECRET ”more of a suggestion” to these dudes rather than important policies designed to safeguard our nation’s intelligence? Do their real world desktops resemble the aftermath of hurricanes? Or can we simply blame it all on the ridiculous amount of classified material perused daily…for at least two of three men anyway?

In most cases, our nation’s leaders dedicate their mental energy to governing, so adhering to security protocols for a shocking amount of paper is something they might not actively prioritize. And that, my friend, is an eye-opening revelation, if true. Those of us in the cheap seats are shaking our heads, screaming, “WTF is wrong with you guys?”

Oh, that? It’s nothing. I’m just happy to see you.

Now I worry that anybody could potentially slip a few spicy documents down their Batman boxers and stroll out of the Oval Office with ease, as naive as that may sound. It sure seems like no one would notice for months or even years!

I’m hesitant to read news alerts on who else in the U.S. government has shlepped our country’s precious knowledge from place to place with total abandon. It’s like a Boomer who mindlessly moves boxes of decades-old bank statements from the bedroom to the garage to the rented storage unit, never to open and assess any of it. I pay better attention to storing my kiddo’s lost baby teeth!

And I’m only talking about the poor handling of printed matter, mind you. Nope, nope, nope. Don’t start up with Clinton and her emails. Seriously. Don’t go there.

Why, oh why, does this happen?

“Misplacing classified documents is very common, happens all the time,” says Tom Blanton of the National Security Archive. Okay, weird, if you ask me. Apparently, it’s an issue that goes way, way back through many administrations.

So here are 8 obvious reasons, out of a possible gazillion, and in no particular order, as to why classified documents might grow legs:

1. Improper Handling by High-Ranking Individuals
2. Inconsistent or Inadequate Storage Methods
3. Poor Document Management Systems
4. Very High Volume of Documents
5. Disorderly Work Settings
6. Different Job Title or Org = Different Rules
7. Disregard Of Policies for Convenience
8. Willful Retention or Destruction

I won’t drill down to the mind-numbing details. (TL;DR) And let’s be fair, not everyone who handles classified material is on the same page. Heh. (smirk) Right now, is anyone leading the charge to overhaul this national embarrassment? Biden isn’t going to, not while he’s under investigation anyway; that’s for sure. It looks like we’ve got a long way to go before breaches like Trump’s, Biden’s, and Pence’s stop occurring.

Who’s on First?

Here are a few things you might not know about classified materials:

1. “The authority to classify information originally may be exercised only by: (1) the President and,…the Vice President; (2) agency heads and officials…” and a whole lot of other people. Wow! Too many cooks in the kitchen.
2. A document’s initial classification should be reviewed for declassification at some point. “Most of what the government could declassify (in 2016), it didn’t,” reports Zachary B. Wolf, CNN. Alrighty, then. Reviews are not happening.
3. “Policies meant to control the handling of the nation’s secrets are haphazardly enforced among top officials and rely almost wholly on good faith,” reveals Outside the Beltway. A big uh-oh on that last point.

Bored yet? Yeah, several facets of intelligence classification are admittedly “meh.”

The only prescription is more cowbell!

I do find it interesting that the biggest publicly-known issue, according to the experts, is over-classification. Yes, you read that right. It’s the tendency to apply higher, potentially unnecessary, classifications that has become a real pain in the tuchus. In other words, just because you can mark something TOP SECRET, doesn’t mean you should. But when you throw random stuff into one big folder, it’s a veritable bag of mixed nuts. What the heck are you going to do? Shouldn’t the saying “better safe than sorry” apply? Shouldn’t the highest classification match the most sensitive stuff?

Sure, in theory, yeah. But, in reality, over-classification can be a huge blocker. It can prompt political games and slow down communication between aligned agencies and departments. It can cause inexcusable delays in action. It can hamstring reporters and freedom of the press, which in turn, can undermine democracy. Someone with authority can also falsely and intentionally mark everything TOP SECRET in order to impede transparency, like some jerks have done in previous WH administrations. 

Bottom line? Just because many of those misplaced docs were classified at high levels, doesn’t mean they all deserved to be. All that drama with Trump, Biden and Pence may not be as scary for our nation’s security as we first thought. Feel better now? Yeah, me neither.

There but for the grace…

Now back to the original mess. After reading about these document debacles, I became motivated to reorganize my humble four-drawer file cabinet. Unfortunately, my lifelong failure with intermingling documents — putting important and unimportant stuff in the same damn pile — means I still fail repeatedly. Some days, my paper shuffling is way over the top.

So, President Biden, when it comes right down to it, we’ve all had similar issues with the paper chase, just not at your lofty level. Try not to be offended when I say, “Do better! You’re the President of the United States.” Okay? Thanks.