‘Survivor – GOP Presidential Primary’ : Whistling Dixie

Posted by AzBlueMeanie:

There were no surprises in the New Hampshire primary on Tuesday night, with the possible exception that the winnowing of the field that typically occurs after the primary did not occur. Everyone is moving on to South Carolina. 

This is the deleterious effect of Citizens United v. FEC and the demon Super-PACs it spawned. The GOP candidates are no more than surrogates for their dueling billionaire benefactors who want to own a president, and the country.

"Survivor – GOP Presidential Primary" heads South to Dixie this week with a series of debates in South Carolina.

First up is the brainchild of FAUX News host Mike Huckabee, the "Huckabee Forum 2," from the Sottile Theatre at the College of Charleston in Charleston, SC on Saturday, January 14 at 8:00 p.m. ET on FAUX News. The sponsors are the Mike Huckabee Show, Rep. Tim Scott (R-SC), and of course, FAUX News. Romney, Perry, Gingrich, Santorum, Paul, and Huntsman will participate.

On Monday, January 16, FAUX News (again) and the South Carolina Republican Party will host a debate from the Myrtle Beach Convention Center in Myrtle Beach, SC, at 9:00 p.m. ET on FAUX News. The debate will be moderated by special report anchor Bret Baier. Presumably Romney, Perry, Gingrich, Santorum, Paul, and Huntsman will all participate.

I say presumably, because things get dicey with the final debate from South Carolina hosted by TeaNN (formerly known as CNN) and the Southern Republican Leadersip Conference from Charleston, SC on Thursday, January 19 at 8:00 p.m. ET on TeaNN.

Governor Goodhair Rick Perry may not meet their qaulifications to particpate. Talking Points Memo reports Perry Isn’t Dropping Out — But Will The Debates Drop Him?:

According to the channel’s criteria for inclusion, a candidate must have placed at least 4th in either Iowa or New Hampshire, or get 7% support in at least three national Republican or three South Carolina primary polls released in January. The requirements were posted online last Tuesday afternoon, several hours before before the Iowa caucuses began later that night.

Perry meets none of those qualifications at time of writing.

Perry came in fifth place in Iowa, and sixth in New Hampshire. And currently, his national and South Carolina poll numbers do not show him meeting that threshold, either.

In only one national poll so far in January, from Reuters, is Perry at 7% support. He is not yet at 7% in any January poll from South Carolina.

UPDATE: TeaNN has massaged some poll numbers and now says that Governor Goodhair will be allowed to participate in the debate.

Former Gov. Jon Hunstman gets in by the skin of his teeth with a third place finish in New Hampshire. But Jon Huntsman's Billionaire Dad Won't Commit to More Campaign Cash to his Super-PAC. And in South Carolina polling he trails native son Stephen Colbert — yes, that Stephen Colbert (h/t Bluegal at crooksandliars.com). Stephen Colbert Leads Jon Huntsman in South Carolina Poll — Seriously:

Five percent of GOP primary voters in South Carolina would pick Stepehen Colbert, while only 4 percent would choose Huntsman, the new Public Policy Polling figures show.

Leading the pack in the poll, released Tuesday, is Mitt Romney with 27 percent, followed by Newt Gingrich (23 percent), Rick Santorum (18 percent), Ron Paul (8 percent) and Rick Perry (7 percent). Last is former Louisiana Governor Buddy Roemer, who also trails Colbert, with 1 percent.

* * *

In December, Colbert, a native of South Carolina, said in a guest editorial in The State that he wanted to sponsor the South Carolina Republican primary and would pony up a half-million dollars to cover the counties' "shortfall."

Colbert — who, in 2007, attempted to run for president, but only in South Carolina — also called for a referendum about whether corporations are people. The new Public Policing Polling survey also found that 67 percent of the GOP debate's likely voters think that "only people are people."

"He was rebuffed in his efforts, but our team at PPP decided if he couldn't get all that stuff on the actual ballot, we could at least poll it for him," reads a statement on PublicPolicyPolling.com.

You just can't make this stuff up. Here's a thought: if Colbert can get to 7% in three South Carolina polls, will TeaNN have to let him debate? You'd think they would do it just for the ratings bonanza. All South Carolina polls should be polling Stephen Colbert.

After South Carolina we can bid farewell to Jon Huntsman and Governor Goodhair, who will be voted off the island. The winner of the Rupert Murdoch Primary, former FAUX News host Rick "man on dog" Santorum may survive. Newt Gingrich is motivated by hate for Romney and will stay in out of vengeance. He also has a billionaire sugar daddy, "Big Casino," to stay on the airwaves. Fringe candidate Ron Paul will also hang around, laying the groundwork for his idiot son to take over his business of running for president every four years in 2016. "There are still a lot of rubes whose pockets need picking, son."