Warning: Never go alone to a haunted house.
My courageous husband and I dared to venture into the Tucson Slaughterhouse on Friday night for a preview of their 5 scary Haunts. This former animal slaughterhouse was indeed full of infected, bloody “zombies”, and other scary creatures of questionable living status. One scary, blood-stained creature was situated in a standing coffin outside, but was he truly dead? We doubted it as the coffin was empty later.
We started off in the Boiler Room with creatures in gas masks and in all forms of decomposition and hacked bodies. They appeared suddenly along creepy corridors with things hanging from the ceilings, dripping liquid (blood? saliva?), gas explosions — more than enough to scare anyone.
Then we proceeded bravely into the City Meats indoor enclosure with insane butchers holding chain saws and grotesque body parts lying around. There was even a very narrow, totally dark maze, which we were ever so relieved to escape from. I heard a lot of screaming inside there as we exited.
Breathing free air again, we hesitantly creeped through the outside Twisted Tree Mortuary/cemetery, where the figure of Death (of course in somber black) followed us. It was unnerving. We walked past grave stones, tombs, corpses, half dead people, yet to be buried.
Probably the most exciting NEWEST attraction is Apocalypse upstairs where you help the Zombie Rescue Team of military men armed with M-4s fight off infected, looming zombies – with your own laser rifle (on loan). Any past military training comes in handy to shoot the multitude of hidden zombies that come at you from all directions, especially the rear. And it gives you a sense of power to fight back with commando weapons – it’s either you shoot them or be attacked and infected with their “deadly disease”. Thankfully these undead creatures aren’t supposed to touch you, but a few of them couldn’t control themselves. Ugh.
Then finally, we ended up in CarnEvil, a 3D experience with evil clowns, weird stuffed animals, strobe & black lights, and other amusement park gimmicks. It was not your usual circus fun.
What a bunch of wild, haunted experiences at the Slaughterhouse, recently opened on September 26 for the not so faint at heart, leading up to Halloween 2014 (and one day beyond for a Fear Fest). If you love haunted houses, this one is advertised as the “scariest” one in town. It probably is.
Check it out online, at www.slaughterhousetucson.com, 1102 W Grant Rd. Open on Thursdays to Sundays 7 to 10 p.m. to November 1st. Plenty of free parking outside. Ticket prices vary from $20 to $75 depending on how much you want to be frightened. 520-784-2105 to call if you dare.
Be prepared to be very scared. And get ready to scream (a lot).
Is it as scary as republican party headquarters?
Not sure, haven’t been to the Tucson Republican HQ for years. I’ll give it a try before Halloween.