Donald Trump promised ‘showbiz’ at GOP convention, but stars on stage will be relatively dim.

Here’s a helpful ratings guide. Learn The Difference between A-list, B-list, C-list and D-list:


“A-list” actors are exceptionally successful, their notoriety extends beyond the silver screen, and their name guarantees a box office hit.

“B-list” actors are usually television actors or less successful movie stars.

A “C-list” actor is a character actor that’s known by face and not by name. They are usually still good actors, but they receive less notoriety than an A or B-list actor.

“D-list” actors are the lowest on the celebrity hierarchy; they appear on celebrity game shows and reality television.

Wait, so Donald Trump is a “D-List” celebrity? What else have you got?

The New York Times reported on Thursday, Speakers at Donald Trump’s Convention: Tim Tebow, Peter Thiel, but No Sarah Palin?

tebow-bigA night highlighting the tragedy in Benghazi, Libya. An appearance by onetime football star Tim Tebow. A presentation detailing former President Bill Clinton’s sexual misconduct.

* * *

The list, which is subject to change, as obtained by The New York Times:

Night 1: A Benghazi!!! focus, followed by border patrol agents and Mr. Shaw, whose son was killed by an undocumented immigrant. Senator Tom Cotton, Rudy Giuliani, Melania Trump, Senator Joni Ernst, and others.

Night 2: A focus on the economy: Dana White, president of the U.F.C.; Asa Hutchinson, the governor of Arkansas; Michael Mukasey, the former United States attorney general; Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn, a vice-presidential possibility; Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, the majority leader; Mr. Trump’s daughter Tiffany; his son Donald Jr.; and Governor Scott Walker.

Night 3: Pam Bondi, Florida Attorney General;  retired astronaut Eileen Collins; Newt Gingrich, former House Speaker; Senator Ted Cruz of Texas; Mr. Trump’s son Eric; pro golfer Natalie Gulbis; and the nominee for vice president [Mike Pence].

Night 4: Tim Tebow; Representative Marsha Blackburn; Governor Mary Fallin; Reince Priebus, the Republican National Committee chairman; Governor Rick Scott; Peter Thiel; Tom Barrack; Mr. Trump’s daughter Ivanka; and Mr. Trump.

GOP political strategist Rick Wilson was quoted as saying “it’ll be like a hostage video of people forced on stage.”

It turns out that Mr. Wilson may be closer to the truth than he realized. Christian Right fave  Tim Tebow Says He Won’t Speak at the Republican Convention:

Tim Tebow, the Heisman Trophy winner, reality television star and former N.F.L. player who was supposed to be one of the biggest names to appear at the Republican National Convention, said Thursday that he would not speak after all.

In a video he posted to Instagram, Mr. Tebow called reports that he would be a speaker “a rumor.”

“It’s amazing how fast rumors fly,” he said. “And that’s exactly what it is. A rumor.”

He cited his commitment to the Tim Tebow Foundation, a children’s philanthropy, as taking priority over politics.

The Trump campaign says they invited Tebow to speak, but do we really know this is true? Trump campaign manager doesn’t know what happened with Tebow. How many other speakers on this list are “hostages … forced on stage?”

And how is it possible that Trump’s cheerleader squad, former Arizona governor Jan “headless bodies in the desert” Brewer and the halfling governor of Alaska, the Quitta from Wasilla Sarah Palin, are not speaking at the convention to get the delegates’ “splodey heads a‘splodin” with rapture for “The Donald”?

Now I think I finally get that new CBS show BrainDead.

UPDATE: Everything You Need To Know About The Extremists Who Will Highlight Trump’s Republican Convention.