I Demand Reparations!

“This mean old world runs on sex and gasoline” – Rodney Crowell

I, Sharpie, a white man of a certain age and an American citizen, do hereby and henceforth demand reparations!

Jeffery Epstein’s BFF, Donald Trump, started a war with Iran to distract us from the Trump-Epstein Files, causing the price of gas to go way, way up, which is now down but still up, and it’s cost all of us licensed drivers hundreds extra at the pump.

We pay the “Trump-Epstein Gas Tax” because we have jobs to get to so we can make money to buy more gas, go to doctor appointments, take our pups to the vet, fetch groceries and even if we have our dinner delivered the prices went up because the delivery driver paid more at the pump, too.

After months of the Trump-Epstein War (don’t even start with that “military operation” bullshit), a war that was over in just a few hours, until it wasn’t, then was over in a few day’s, until it wasn’t, over in a few weeks, months, whatever, time is just a construct to describe how we perceive reality anyway, now Epstein’s BFF is offering over three hundred billion of our tax dollars in reparations to Iran.

Here’s how that looks in Arabic numerals:

$300,000,000,000.00.

And yes, I did go out of my way to call them “Arabic” numerals. That’s what they are, and I like messing with racists.

It’s my kink.

So Iran is getting our tax money to rebuild Iran from the damage done to Iran by the Trump-Epstein War on Iran, to distract us from Epstein, who Trump says likes his women on the younger side, what about us?

Hold on, this just in….breaking news, hot off the wire!

Trump, BFF to The Rich and Famous (pedophiles), is now allowing Iran to sell some oil?

At a price per barrel that is higher now than before the Trump-Epstein War?

So Iran is going to make more money per barrel thanks to DJT, the BFF of JE?

And Iran is going to be charging a toll to use the Straight of Hormuz?

While the rest of us look for a side hustle to help offset the spike in the price of everything due to the Trump-Epstein War, Trump has given Iran two new income streams!

Trump, working long hours with only the best lawyers and the hottest PR teams, calls the 300 billion a “development fund”.

JFC, how stupid does he think we…oh, yeah, we elected him twice, guess we’re the source of his confusion.

Now, gentle reader, I see it too, if the US government paid US citizens reparations for the Trump-Epstein Gas Tax, it would be with our own tax money, in addition to all the billions being spent to pay for the Trump-Epstein War.

Now, I’m no financial genius, or even a regular genius, but hear me out, just print more money!

You know, like they do when rich people are in danger of being ever so slightly not as rich.

MAGA will love this, since most of the people getting the Trump-Epstein Gas Tax Reparations are white!

Off topic, calling it the “Trump-Epstein War” and “Trump-Epstein Gas Tax” have been right there for months, and it took some random internet troll (me) to point it out?

I mean, they’re no “Pokémon Go to the Polls”, that’s a goddamn masterpiece of a slogan, but hire me, Dems, and I’ll point out more obvious shit for you.

Maybe you’ll win more often and we can end this nightmare, and get some justice for the children.

Oh well, thanks for reading, and you know, you could use your reparation payments to adopt a dog, or even a cat, if you must. People with pets have been shown to live longer, happier, healthier lives.

As a little sweetener, Trump doesn’t like dogs, so they’re like furry little middle fingers to the pedophile distractor in our White House.