Know-Nothing Ron Drake

Ron Drake has apparently settled upon his campaign slogan in his uphill fight against incumbent Raul Grijalva, "We Can Do Better!"

Just don’t ask Ron how. As of this writing his page on "The Issues!" still says only check back soon.

Wow. I gotta say I’m inspired. It’s clear that what Ron is saying to voters between the very blank lines of his campaign is that "We Can Do Better!" … than Grijalva. You see, Ron’s a Republican whose name is properly WASPish, and his color is really just the man-tan he slathers on weekly. Whereas, this Grijalva fellow, he’s a Democrat, has a funny name many of you surely say wrongly, and he’s not that color by choice.

I think Republican-WASPy-named-man-tanishness as a political platform gives the voters a clear choice between everying Drake stands for and the Democratic-Hispanic-named-natural-melatoniness that Grijalva represents. In a lot of ways, this race encapsulates just about everything that the GOP really stands for in Arizona these days.

The GOP should be proud that they’re standing up to defend our man-tanish values against those who seek to sully the man-tans of the founders of this great state. God bless them.