RNC Convention Preview

Posted by AzBlueMeanie:

Day One of the Republican National Convention was washed out by Hurricane Gustav.  To their credit, both political parties put aside their campaigning yesterday (sort of) and asked their supporters to contribute money to the American Red Cross, or other relief agency of your choice.  I approve.

The McCain campaign, however, used the wall-to-wall coverage of Hurricane Gustave to orchestrate an attempt at minimizing the damage from a series of problematic disclosures about Governor Sarah Palin.

On Monday morning, Ms. Palin and her husband, Todd, issued a statement saying that their 17-year-old unmarried daughter, Bristol, was five months pregnant and that she intended to marry the father.

Among other less attention-grabbing news of the day: it was learned that Ms. Palin now has a private lawyer in a legislative ethics investigation in Alaska into whether she abused her power in dismissing the state’s public safety commissioner; that she was a member for two years in the 1990s of the Alaska Independence Party, which has at times sought a vote on whether the state should secede; and that Mr. Palin was arrested 22 years ago on a drunken-driving charge.

Disclosures on Palin Raise Questions on Vetting Process (I will address the vetting process in a later post).

“We are going to flush the toilet,” said Tucker Eskew, who is a senior adviser to Ms. Palin, describing the campaign’s plans for Labor Day, when much of the nation was busy with family and social activities. News Analysis – In Political Realm, ‘Family Problem’ Emerges as Test

We have a winner!  This is easily the most stupid comment made by a campaign spokesman in the history of politics – ever!  Asking the public to imagine a mental picture of your VP nominee as a turd doing a swirly down the toilet is unbelievable – and disgusting!  Next time try thinking before opening your mouth, Tucker.

Day Two of the Republican National Convention promises to be a major disappointment for me.  Apparently Mayor Rudy "a noun, a verb and 9/11" Giuliani has been jettisoned as the convention keynote speaker.  And after I gave you such a nice promo last week!  I had a bet on which dress he would wear, but now all bets are off.

Rudy has been replaced by Joe "bomb Iran, bomb now" Lieberman. I guess this is meant to be his consolation prize after not being named as John McCain’s running mate.  Joe once again got passed over for the pretty girl.  No one ever remembers the runner-up in a beauty pageant.  Don’t forget your fabulous swag basket under your seat. If you’re nice to everybody, maybe they will name you Miss Congeniality of the Convention.

Fred "he’s not dead, he’s just sleeping" Thompson has also been added as a speaker.  I guess this was meant to give the convention delegates a chance to catch a quick cat-nap before the other speakers.  For those watching at home, you can change channels to TBS or the USA Network for their 24-hour a day marathon of Law and Order reruns. (What’s up with that?)

There is still some question whether President George W. "Legacy" Bush will address the convention via satellite on the jumbo-screen. God, I hope they do the "big head" interview like Jon Stewart does on The Daily Show.  Maybe a Ron Paul Revolutionary will rush the stage and throw a hammer through the screen like in this classic Apple Computer "1984" ad.  Now that would be awesome!

I checked the GOP convention web site for an up-to-date list of speakers scheduled for Tuesday night, but the page has not yet been updated.  Maybe Cindy McCain can show someone at the RNC how to update a web page.

I am sure the speakers, whoever they are, will stick to the formula GOP script: 9/11, terrorism, fear, fear, fear; 9/11, terrorism, fear, fear, fear.  Repeat as often as possible. Oh, and did we mention that John McCain was a POW?  And that our VP nominee is a woman?

Sadly, this is all we will get out of this convention.