Oh dear God. J.E.B.! Bush is completely clueless. The Washington Post reported on Monday that J.E.B.! was going to reboot his flailing campaign after his terrible debate performances and still sinking poll numbers. The most critical two-week period of Jeb Bush’s campaign has arrived. Here’s what he plans to do:

cartoon_34With his speech on Monday, the former Florida governor launched his “Jeb Can Fix It” tour. [Bob the Builder – ‘Can We Fix It?’ theme song. Seriously?] He has been emphasizing his leadership credentials in hopes of distinguishing himself from Rubio and others.


Lagging in the polls and coming off a widely panned debate performance, Bush plans to barnstorm the early voting states this week, moving from Florida to South Carolina and then embarking on a three-day bus tour through New Hampshire. Plagued throughout his campaign by distracting comments, Bush is in need of an error-free performance that amplifies his argument for the presidency: that his leadership credentials and record as governor best qualify him for the top job.

Then, Bush will need a strong performance in the fourth televised Republican debate next Tuesday. The next one after that is not until mid-December. Debates have not been Bush’s strong suit so far. Whatever happens next Tuesday night could be etched into the minds of GOP primary voters for weeks.

Bush’s tour comes the same week he is releasing his e-book “Reply All,” an exhaustive [730 page] anthology of hundreds of self-selected e-mails he sent and received as governor.

Bush’s large network of donors and other supporters is anxiously watching him this week. One Bush fundraiser, granted anonymity to speak candidly after last week’s debate, said the campaign is running out of time to get things right.

“They keep trying to re-calibrate and reset and start over,” the person said. “I think you get one or two of those. They are at like number three.”

Bush has acknowledged his struggles and is vowing to overcome them.

“Look, I know that I got to get better at doing the debate,” he said in an interview broadcast Sunday on NBC’s “Meet the Press.”

 First of all, a 730 page e-book of his emails? No one but oppo researchers would ever read this, and not for a candidate whose campaign is going down the crapper.

Secondly, the “Jeb Can Fix It” reboot instantly backfired on him in social media.  His campaign team should have seen this coming.  Internet Trolls Hijack ‘Jeb Can Fix It’ Campaign, Possibly Ending Bush’s Run for Good:

It’s only the morning of day one of the new “Jeb Can Fix It” campaign, and already, it’s looking unlikely that it will help Mr. Bush gain support. In a only a few hours, the campaign has become a viral Internet joke.

The hashtag #JebCanFixIt began trending this morning, but the tweets aren’t expressing support. They’re mostly memes, jokes about Mr. Bush as a plumber and mechanic as well as links to the Bob the Builder theme song. There’s quite a bit about election rigging as well.

Screenshot from 2015-11-03 15:56:58

One may think it’s a stretch to say this could end Mr. Bush’s run, but these aren’t positive memes akin to Drake’s viral “Hotline Bling” success. They’re memes indicating that the message he’s running on is not being taken seriously and that his candidacy is a joke. After a lackluster performance in the latest GOP debate and consistently pulling in low poll numbers, it’s generally agreed upon that he’s hanging on by a thread, and struggling even to do that. Salon called the campaign a “Hail Mary,” and if the quick influx of jokes and memes is an indicator of anything, it’s that the defense is blitzing and Mr. Bush might be sacked before he gets to execute the pass. And even if he gets it off, it’s basically already been intercepted.

More on J.E.B.!‘s reboot fail:

Raw Story: Jeb Can’t Fix It: Bush’s campaign reboot flops as Twitter demolishes his dopey new slogan

Crooks And Liars: Stick A Fork In Him: ‘Jeb Can Fix It’ Hilariously Hijacked By Twitter Trolls (Tweets)