In a move that left political pundits scratching their heads and comedy writers dancing with glee, Donald Trump has announced his choice for Vice President: J.D. Vance. The reasons behind this head-scratcher are as bizarre as they are hilarious. So, let’s dive into the wacky world of why Trump might have picked Vance:
Count with Me: Trump is all about the simple joys in life, like “Trump-Vance 2024” fitting perfectly into tweets. Both names have exactly five letters, making it easy to save space for the overzealous use of exclamation points and all-caps rage rants. Es perfecto for someone whose use of English hasn’t evolved past the 5th grade.
Name Confusion: The former president is banking on the fact that some of his poorly-educated or mainly braindead supporters will just overlook that “Vance” is not “Pence.” If the names sound close, what difference does it make, right?
Swag Switch: Ever the savvy businessman, Trump realized he could just switch out the first two letters of “Pence” on old campaign swag to spell “Vance.” Armed with an X-ACTO knife and a Sharpie, he’s created a merchandising miracle.

Literary Leanings: Trump, the self-proclaimed book lover (remember “The Art of the Deal”?), picked Vance because he’s an author, too. Never mind that Trump probably assumes “Hillbilly Elegy” is a country song. It’s the thought that counts.
Television Tie-In: Vance’s rise to fame through a bestselling book and movie adaptation is right up Trump’s alley. If you’ve been on TV or in a movie, you’re already halfway to the Oval Office in Trump’s eyes.
Comic Book Daydreams: Trump loves the sound of “Trump and Vance,” which feels like a dynamic duo. Think “Batman and Robin,” but with more golf courses.

Mix It Up: Speaking of the Bat Cave, Trump’s team discovered that the letters in “Vance” can be rearranged to spell “Cav en,” kind of like “cave in.” Perfect for someone who wants the country to cave in to his dictator demands.
Nicknames Galore: Trump is thrilled about the potential for catchy nicknames, when or if he trades Vance for a new VP. It’s a whole new world of mediocre putdowns, especially when you have the sophistication of a carnival barker and a knack for laughing at your own jokes.
Ohio is Key: Picking Vance might have been a strategic move to lock in Ohio, a once-important swing state. But Trump really loves that “Vance” rhymes with “chance” and he takes that as a good omen for winning.
More Rhyme Time: Trump loves the name Vance for its slogan potential. Imagine catchy taglines like “Take a stance with Trump and Vance!” It’s marketing gold. Trump also fantasizes about campaign rallies featuring the “Trump-Vance Pants Dance.” It’s destined to go viral on TikTok, at least until the app is banned.
Secret Handshake: Trump was impressed by Vance’s ability to create a secret handshake involving cheeseburgers, ketchup and couches. It will surely come in handy on the campaign trail.
MAGA Hat Upgrade: Vance suggested upgrading the classic MAGA red hat to include LED lights and a built-in Bluetooth speaker. Trump, ever the showman, loves the idea of making his rallies even more like a rock concert.
Elaborate Conspiracy Theories: Vance’s skill at weaving tall tales is a perfect match for Trump’s love of a fabricated story. Together, they plan to launch a podcast called “To Hell with the Truth” to keep their base entertained.
No matter the real or imagined reasons, Trump’s choice of Vance is sure to keep the SNL and late-night writers busy for months. Stay tuned for more absurdities as the 2024 campaign heats up!

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We found tax records showing ‘Hillbilly Elegy’ author JD Vance’s anti-opioid nonprofit faltered
Adam Wren and Meghan Morris Aug 31, 2021, 9:08 AM MST
https://www.businessinsider.com/jd-vance-anti-opioid-nonprofit-our-ohio-renewal-senate-campaign-2021-8
What worries me is if they win. Then it won’t be hilarious.