Trump Solves the Problem He Created. Again.

Guess what? We’re supposed to thank Donald Trump for deescalating the trade war. You know—the one he started.

Today’s big headline: The U.S. and China reached a “major breakthrough” on tariffs. Trump’s proudly dialing down the economic arson he personally ignited, slapping himself on the back like he just brokered world peace instead of pausing a mess of his own making.

Let’s review. Earlier this year, the Trumpanzee jacked tariffs on Chinese goods up to 145%. China hit back. Hard. Trade slowed. Prices spiked. Farmers got steamrolled. The economy took a punch to the gut—and all because our “stable genius” wanted to look tough while pretending he understood global markets.

Now? We’re entering a 90-day truce. The U.S. will ease tariffs to a still-punishing 30%. China’s dialing theirs back too. And suddenly, Trump’s acting like he just saved us all from a disaster…one that he carefully gift-wrapped and detonated for sport.

It’s like lighting your kitchen on fire, then demanding a medal for using a fire extinguisher.

This isn’t strategy. It’s a toddler tantrum followed by a photo op. A pattern we’ve seen before: create chaos, pretend only you can solve it, then claim victory while everyone else still has to deal with the consequences.

Also, pro tip: If your “deal” ends with “more talks later,” it’s not a deal. It’s a timeout.

But sure, cue the MAGA hats and parade floats. Let’s pretend this was brilliant diplomacy and not just a really expensive way to feel important for 30 seconds.

Here’s a thought: maybe the next president could try not starting economic dumpster fires in the first place. Just spitballing.