Posted by AzBlueMeanie:

PerrySo Governor Goodhair, Rick Perry of the Republic of Texas Gilead, where "small government" is small enough to fit inside a woman's uterus to monitor her sexual activity and reproductive health, had a "big announcement" he wanted to make today.

I just assumed that he was going to announce he is becoming a televangelist minister, what he does best, and is getting a gig at the Christian Broadcasting Network.

Alas, The Hill reports Rick Perry won't run again in Texas:

Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) announced Monday he won't seek reelection to a
fourth full term in 2014, but didn't close the door on a future
presidential bid.

"I remain excited about the future and the challenges ahead, but the
time has come to pass on the mantle of leadership. Today I am announcing
I will not seek reelection as governor of Texas," Perry said at a
Monday afternoon press conference in San Antonio.

* * *

The longtime Texas governor and 2012 presidential candidate said "any future considerations I will announce in due time and I will arrive at that decision appropriately, but my focus will remain on Texas."

[H]is reputation took a huge hit during his 2012 presidential campaign, which crashed and burned after starting out high in the polls.

Perry is best known nationally for his "oops" moment, when he couldn't remember the third federal department he wanted to shutter during a presidential debate.

Late night comedians rejoice at the news this buffoon is running for president again. The jokes may pay for a new car.

UPDATE: "if my vagina could shoot bullets it would have fewer regulations on it." – Helen Philpot, of Margaret and Helen fame. These two old ladies are the best! If my Vagina shot bullets, could I conceal it from Rick Perry and John Kasich? A must read.