by David Safier
I walked my general neighborhood this morning. Lots of nice people. Lots of friendly conversations. Great walking weather.
But my favorite door was the most unpleasant. The guy was such a caricature, it was like he came from central casting.
I walk up his driveway. He's over 80, standing on the porch at the top of 8 steps. I smile, wave, say "Good morning."
Him: What are you selling?
Me: I'm not selling anything. I'm reminding people to vote on Tuesday.
Him: [Didn't hear me] What are you selling?
Me: [Still smiling, waiting to climb the steps before I respond] I'm not selling anything. I'm reminding people to vote Tuesday.
Him: Oh, I'm voting all right. [Gestures at my handouts]. What've you got?
Me: [Pulling out a flier for Nancy Young Wright] Well, there's . . .
Him: Are they Democrats?
Me: Yes they are.
Him: You're in the wrong neighborhood, buddy. [Gestures] You belong down south. [meaning central Tucson] [And he's wrong. Half of his immediate neighbors are Dems or progressive-leaning Independents].
Me: [Shrugging, still smiling] Clearly, we don't agree. I'm just doing my patriotic chore.
Him: You're no patriot. You're a socialist! [I begin heading down the steps] We're individuals here!
Me: [Chuckling, genuinely amused] Well, have a nice day.
Him: You have a lousy day. You deserve it!