My favorite door


by David Safier

I walked my general neighborhood this morning. Lots of nice people. Lots of friendly conversations. Great walking weather.

But my favorite door was the most unpleasant. The guy was such a caricature, it was like he came from central casting.

I walk up his driveway. He's over 80, standing on the porch at the top of 8 steps. I smile, wave, say "Good morning."

Him: What are you selling?

Me: I'm not selling anything. I'm reminding people to vote on Tuesday.

Him: [Didn't hear me] What are you selling?

Me: [Still smiling, waiting to climb the steps before I respond] I'm not selling anything. I'm reminding people to vote Tuesday.

Him: Oh, I'm voting all right. [Gestures at my handouts]. What've you got?

Me: [Pulling out a flier for Nancy Young Wright] Well, there's . . .

Him: Are they Democrats?

Me: Yes they are.

Him: You're in the wrong neighborhood, buddy. [Gestures] You belong down south. [meaning central Tucson] [And he's wrong. Half of his immediate neighbors are Dems or progressive-leaning Independents].

Me: [Shrugging, still smiling] Clearly, we don't agree. I'm just doing my patriotic chore.

Him: You're no patriot. You're a socialist! [I begin heading down the steps] We're individuals here!

Me: [Chuckling, genuinely amused] Well, have a nice day.

Him: You have a lousy day. You deserve it!


  1. God, I’m tempted to go back go his house, knock on his door and show him your post. “Look, you just managed to give a Democratic candidate more money!”

    On second thought, Nah.

  2. I think he comes from the “It’s not socialism if the money is coming my way” school of thought.

  3. Sorry to hear about this, David. I hope the rest of your contacts were much more pleasant. I love GOTV walking; never a dull moment (always a good challenge) plus great people to meet.

    I just made a donation to BfAZ on behalf of Mr. Nastypants. 🙂

  4. Let’s see: over 80 years old means he is on social security and Medicare, maybe even a dual eligible for Medicaid, and likely VA benefits for military service. Somebody loves him some sweet “soclalism” and is too blinded by his hatred to acknowledge it.

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