What’s that Smell? J.D. Mesnard Wants it to Stop!

Something smells funny, and AZ Senator Javan Daniel Mesnard (J.D. for short) wants to fine abusers of his nose $750. Could it be a fart? Maybe a flaming bag of dog poop on his front porch?

Somebody, somewhere near Mesnard’s house on Homestead Court in Chandler, is smoking weed! It’s so odiferous, says the Republican from LD13, that he “can’t use his own back yard.”

“I don’t even know where it’s coming from,” Javan Daniel bleated. “It can even creep into your own house, or, in my case, into my garage,” he whined.

Horrors!

Ordinarily, normal people would simply talk to the neighbors about it (unless it’s coming from the chemtrails Republicans are fretting about). You know, mention it in a neighborly conversation.

But no.

Javan D. Mesnard wants to enact a STATE LAW making drifting pot smoke illegal. Mind you, it has been legal to smoke marijuana in Arizona since 2020. But J.D. is worried about his kids. “What about the children?” asked Helen Lovejoy, the minister’s wife, on The Simpsons.

“I don’t want my kids to get high,” he said. Perhaps Mesnard, age 45, should ask his own kids about the weed smell. Some kids are known to start smoking pot at age 11.

If the smell is so bad, Mesnard could invest in some Febreze air freshener or keep a box of baking soda in the garage. “Sniffy” J.D. can also order a half-face respirator to deal with the unwanted aroma.

There should be a law, dammit, says Sniffy Mesnard. But what about people farting, as Trump is famous for doing. See Trump’s Relentless Farting Stinks Up New York Courtroom.

Other possibilities include:

• A skunk. Arizona is home to four skunk species, which are active year-round in suburban, urban, and riparian areas. You know, weed is known to smell “skunky.”
• Sewage, urine and feces. Did Mesnard remember to flush the toilet?
• Garbage, spoiled milk, rancid butter, and rotten fish. Does “Sniffy” Mesnard keep a garbage can in the garage?
• Body odor and sweaty feet. Has J.D. taken a shower recently?
• Pet odors. Yep, you can always blame the dog. Maybe the cat drowned in the washing machine and is rotting?
• The durian fruit or Vieux Boulogne cheese. Maybe Mrs. J.D. got some from an Asian grocery store.
• Stinky cigars. Legislators are known to meet in smoke-filled rooms.
• A dead body. Did a previous owner of Javan’s house bury someone under the floor of his garage?
• A bag of flaming dog poop on his front step.

Any of these things is possible. And while we’re talking about it, how do you measure stink? How much is one iota beyond normal? Is there equipment to measure stench? When is it “one toke over the line”?

We’ll never know because Javan’s bill, SB1725, will never become law. Governor Hobbs would have a laughing fit and immediately veto it, to the applause of everyone who lived through the 1960s or later.

Remember this during the election

Here’s my message to all the folks in LD13 — Chandler, Gilbert and Sun Lakes: remember Sniffy Mesnard’s obsession when you go to the polls in November. LD13 covers a competitive but slightly right‑leaning East Valley area, and it needs a new Senator and state Representatives.

Fortunately for 2026, Mesnard is not on the ballot again; he is term-limited and ineligible to run for another Senate term. Republican Rep. Julie Willoughby (R-LD13) is running for Mesnard’s open Senate seat and is being treated as the leading GOP contender.

Willoughby is a loon who wants to criminalize homelessness, opposes abortion, and hates voting by mail. She wants to bring culture wars to school classrooms—wrapping tighter control over curriculum and student speech, and advocating “parental rights.”

There are two terrific Democratic candidates — Brandy Reese, a forensic scientist, and Dr. Racquel Armstrong, an Education Professor at Arizona State University. Both candidates support public education and deserve your vote.